Ken Henggeler poured his grief into the thing he loved most : carpentry .

Shaken by the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre , the retired teacher and longtime resident of Newtown went to his barn , picked up an oak children 's bench and went to work . He sawed away , cutting it into two shelves .

On one , he made 20 individual slots for candles , one for each slain child . On the other , he placed six candles for the heroic educators . He drove into town , unsure of his destination .

At the intersection of Main Street and Sugar Street , he felt a tug . After all , the park there is called The Pleasance . On a tree and nearby street pole , there were two signs . Both read : Pray for Newtown .

It was the perfect spot . Just enough room to fit the shelves , and just enough space to let people hug , pray and cry . He and his wife , Darla , placed the shelf for the children in front and the one for the educators in the back , as if still watching over their young students .

Henggeler struggled to light each candle . First one . Then two . Then three .

`` It was really hitting me , '' he said , `` with how many were involved . ''

Glimpses of normalcy amid reminders of horror

A car pulled up and a man placed a giant brown teddy bear next to the makeshift shrine .

More people came . All wept . The memorial grew and grew .

`` We did it to help ourselves , and maybe the town , '' said Henggeler , a resident of 15 years . `` I just wanted to do something . Now , I 'm in awe . ''

The pain in Newtown is suffocating . It 's felt on every corner , in every store , in every church . Each fresh news report -- each photo of those precious children , those tiny victims with so much youthful exuberance -- brings another wave of emotions , of sorrow , horror and disbelief .

Did you hear a child was shot 11 times ? Can you believe the strength of Robbie Parker -- whose daughter Emilie was killed -- to forgive the shooter 's family ? Why did the shooter take out his rage on such pure innocence ?

The shooter 's name is n't mentioned in conversations . It 's just too damn painful .

Newtown is grappling with other pressing questions : How does the town handle 26 funerals with only one funeral home ? What becomes of the school building , and when do Sandy Hook students begin school again ?

Soundwaves : Newtown wonders how to heal

Sunday was supposed to be a festive day , filled with holiday revelry as students prepared for the final week before Christmas holiday . Instead , churches overflowed with mourners .

Gray clouds stretched from horizon to horizon , a cold drizzle dampening the already somber mood .

Newtown was the idyllic New England community -- that Norman Rockwell setting of rolling hills , a town green and an unwavering slice of Americana . The bumper stickers throughout town declared : `` Nicer in Newtown . ''

And it was . The town of 27,500 had great schools and great people . Notable residents have included 1976 Olympic champion Bruce Jenner , `` Hunger Games '' author Suzanne Collins and cartoonist James Thurber .

It served as a bedroom community for Danbury and even New York , with people making the 60-mile commute into the city . Founded in 1711 , the town in southwestern Connecticut spans 60 square miles , the fifth largest town in area in the state .

Newtown 's most gruesome crime story had been a murder charge against a husband accused of killing his wife in 1984 ; her remains were found beneath the floor of a barn in 2010 .

But the town was best known for its 100-foot flagpole that sits , literally , in the middle of Main Street . The flagpole also had been the town 's greatest source of controversy for nearly 100 years -- declared a road hazard as cars replaced ox wagons . Yet the flagpole survived every attempt by highway authorities to remove it . It also survived a lightning strike and a car that slammed into it going 55 mph .

The 12-foot by 18-foot flag now flies at half staff , a sad reminder hovering above the town 's center .

Headlines in Friday 's Newtown Bee reported on vandalism at a cemetery and warned of police plans for a sobriety checkpoint over the weekend .

Then , everything changed .

Remembering the victims

Librarian Beryl Harrison was celebrating with staff at their annual holiday party last Friday . They were preparing to sing Christmas carols when word came .

`` We got a call that there was a lockdown at the schools , '' she said .

Word spread . Rumors flew . At one point , they were told the library was in lockdown . `` We thought they were joking : What could we be locking down the library for ? '' she asked . `` It just got worse as the day went on . ''

Many of those precious children had studied in the library 's children 's area , accompanied by their parents . She had volunteered at the school over the years ; both her sons attended school there , too . One librarian , she said , plans to attend at least six funerals .

`` We just ca n't believe it , '' she said in the gentle voice of a well-schooled librarian .

`` I hope this does n't define the town , because it does n't deserve to be remembered as a place of horror . ''

Not too far from Harrison 's desk , pamphlets were spread out for any resident to take . One began , `` Facts for Families : Children and Grief . '' Another provided the number for a grief hot line `` should you or anyone you know need to talk to someone during this very difficult time . ''

The old town hall will be turned into a grief counseling center Monday , complete with privacy screens . The Newtown Savings Bank has established the Sandy Hook School Support Fund to help families pay for funerals .

Librarians across the country have begun pitching in . One book that 's being shipped is called `` Tear Soup , '' considered one of the best at helping people , especially children , cope with tragedy .

Just up the road , Ken Henggeler stood near the memorial with his wife and 22-year-old stepson , Eric Puffer .

Puffer had attended Sandy Hook in first grade . He could n't help but wonder about that classroom of children . He likely had studied in that exact same room . Puffer had begun his first day at work on Friday , at a DNA sequencing job in Boston .

He immediately came home . His friends teach at the school and `` students that they used to have are now dead . ''

`` I do n't know what to even say to them , '' he said . `` It just does n't make any sense why he would go into school where these kids ca n't even defend themselves . ''

Puffer was a senior in high school when the shooter , Adam Lanza , 20 , was a sophomore . He does n't remember much about Lanza other than the way he dressed .

`` I would see him in the hallway just dressed up formally with a briefcase , like shirt and tie , '' he said . `` He stood out so much wearing such odd apparel to school when we do n't have a dress code . ''

Puffer glanced at the memorial his stepdad made .

`` It 's a visual representation . Seeing how many candles there are , it 's just terrible . ''

Jan Philbrick , from the nearby town of Redding , stopped to hug people standing at the memorial .

`` This has always been the sweetest of towns . It 's held onto its identity , '' she said . `` It 's hard to bear for any town , but this is a particularly kind , good , open , balanced place . ''

She described the memorial as beautiful , and said she stopped at it `` because we 're all in this together . '' Henggeler accepted a hug . He taught woodworking , architecture and robotics at nearby Danbury High School for 37 years , retiring three years ago .

He searched for words as to how the tragedy affected him . `` I taught high school , but I had a special place in my heart for young children . ''

Weeping , he walked off .

Like the rest of town , he cried tear soup .

Strangers inspired to honor Newtown victims

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The pain in Newtown is felt on every corner , in every store , in every church

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It was the idyllic New England town : rolling hills , a town green , 100-foot flagpole

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Notable residents include Bruce Jenner , James Thurber , Suzanne Collins

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`` It does n't deserve to be remembered as a place of horror , '' librarian says